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Tuesday, October 27, 2015

The Trader's Wife

I may become part trader + part sexual counselor after all. It may be my final mission in life.
Hank is having marital problems:

"I'm not one of the people who thinks the markets are rigged. I know there's potential to make money trading."


Of course! Not enough potential to become an overnight millionaire like most charlatans out there would have you believe but, yes, the markets may become a source of wealth. As is the case for many.


"... However, I haven't been a good trader and have been losing money consistently for the better part of two years. I'd like to improve but my Wife is tired of me losing money and time. She is demanding me to stop. How do I deal with this?" - Hank


How do you deal with it? mmmm, let me think, mmmm.....I've got it.
You deal with it by being a man. C'mon, man up and show her who is the boss in the house!....Just kidding.

Ok Hank, you have yourself a problem.
The problem is.............the problem is,........... not trading profitably!
The problem is not the wife. Of course Not! Had you been trading profitably all these years she would be supporting you, like a slave to its master. As she should.
So, the problem is "not trading profitably".

Time to focus on the real problem instead of the nagging wife.

Make your wife happy for now. Just tell her you have stopped trading. If she has access to all your accounts and notices you are still trading, then that's a separate you issue that needs treatment via a Shrink.

Second thing is, seriously man, stop trading. She's partially right in that you should stop burning your dead presidents, but take that peaceful period to study. To study hard and come back solid. Back in 2011 I lost my arrière trading Forex, which I chronicled here. It was frustrating to walk away with the flavor of defeat and that's what happens to everyone when commitment is so high. But sometimes you must understand that you may be trading with no edge and therefore miserably losing your hard earned money. I took more than two years of serious dedication to studying the Forex markets and came up with what I believe is a solid strategy with long term potential. Not saying you should trade Forex, Hogs or Orange Juice. Just saying "find a system". One that fits your personality and time availability. You may not like adopting someone else's system and that is totally fine. You may tweak it here and there. Or you may initially find some isolated ideas, and then it is your work to explore them and come up with your own system. Having a system is what will keep your emotions in check. Without a system you will become as emotional and susceptible as your wife in the middle of the heat. The lack of a structured plan will bring out the worst of you at the worst possible moment.

Back-test your system. How else would you trust it and stay unemotional when using it? No back test means no trust = emotional Hanky triggering absurd buy and sell orders. Practice your system for a while with a paper money account.

Once you feel ready. Which may take 6 months, 1 year, 2,....then start with little money.
This is serious Hank. 0.0000001% of your net-worth. So that when you have losses, you are still the same charismatic, virile guy at home.

To recap:
- Stop trading. Tell your wife to make her happy (but don't tell her you plan to come back in the future)
- Study hard. Find a system or create your own.
- Back-test as if your life depended on it.
- Re-start with very very little money (1 penny if possible)
- Be virile at home if you know what I mean.


Thanks for letting me write about this on the site Hank. I know sometimes I may sound sarcastic or a bit harsh, but my intention is to help. I guess that's why people tell me about their marital issues. There aren't many different ways to express the same message without being boringly repetitive. I must make it interesting and fun. Plus there are women who read this site and have told me how much they hate my "sexist" writing style. But what would become of this world if all we did was blindly follow their lead?

Related Articles:
All traders go to heaven
It never Rains but it Pours
The daily fluctuations of your easily influenced mood
The markets and my empty Fridge
Reassurance


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